More every day, we see the need for emotional intelligence in the business
world. Our thinking can only take us so far. We can gather data to rationalize
our decisions, but often we're better off using our intuition.
Yes, you must be analytical about choosing your new computer or phone system,
but when it comes to trying to figure out why Allen's team is failing, when you
know in your gut, it's Allen, isn't productive. It doesn't provide any more
information that you already know.
And no amount of intellectual arguing is going to change someone at their core
and motivate action or change. You have to reach in and touch their emotions.
You have to find out what's important to someone, and you have to model what's
important to you - at the feelings level.
EMOTIONS IN YOUR FACE CHANGE PEOPLE'S MINDS
Kotter and Cohen give a marvelous example of this. A CEO takes a client out for
dinner and listens to him talk about his disappointment with a product that,
supposedly built to specifications, keeps being delivered defectively. "We
ask again and again for things to be changed," says the unhappy customer,
"and the person we talk to nods his head but he doesn't seem to
What the CEO does is send a video team over to the customer's office the next
day and ask him to speak candidly, which he does, and then he shows the video to
his employees, many of whom had never interfaced with customers, and never
experienced this sort of "strong, negative feedback."
THE 'ARM CHAIR LIBERAL' MOVES INTO THE WORK PLACE
I saw this happen repeatedly in my days in non-profits when I raised money for
the homeless. I spoke all over town on homelessness and encountered all sorts of
reactions, including "Why don't they just get a job?"
If I could convince the person to actually come down to the shelter and meet
"the homeless," things changed. It changes your mind to sit in the
same room, face-to-face with someone who was previously just a statistic. It's
impossible to retort, "Why don't you just get a job?" when you listen
to a mother with 3 children tell how she can't make as much money at her
minimum-wage job as she can on welfare, and while she'd rather have 'a decent
job like everyone else,' the numbers don't add up.
Why doesn't she "just get a job?" Because she can live better on
welfare. You begin to see the complexity of the problem. She may be
"homeless" but she isn't stupid.
You see a man with 4 children and no wife, who hasn't a suit, washing machine,
computer, fax machine or answering machine to take calls while he's out looking
for a job, and you begin to see the complexity of the problem. "Why doesn't
he just get a job?" becomes "How could he get a job?"
NO ONE EVER CONVINCED ANYONE BY LOGIC
I could talk till I was blue in the face about "homelessness," and not
have any impact, while 30 minutes in a homeless shelter, seeing real people,
seeing a "face" instead of "a problem," reached in and
touched people at their core. There's no place for "cold logic" in a
homeless shelter. It assaults your heart, and therefore it assaults your brain.
EMOTIONS TAKE PRECEDENCE
Emotions have a stronger impact, because they're essential to our survival. We
don't need to know a whole lot about the bear that's standing in front of us
snarling; in fact if we DO stop to think, our life will be at risk, so our brain
pumps us full of "fight or flight" chemicals which preclude thinking
and cause us to TAKE ACTION.
In conducting tours of the homeless shelter, just the act was my main objective.
I knew that the reality of a face-to-face encounter would accomplish what I
couldn't, and eventually didn't even try, to do. Motivation is real when it
comes from the heart. Whatever the person decided to do after touring the
shelter, was between them and their heart.
The outcome was always a new understanding of a situation that had previously
existed as "cold facts" in their head. The changed behaviors it
elicited were different-some decided to volunteer, some sent a check, some went
back to organize others, but all were touched.
It never failed to touch me to go over there, and that showed too.
People's general reaction changed from "there's a problem," to
"what can I do?' And each individual, moved from his or her armchair in
front of tv to the reality of the problem, as represented by real human beings,
decided that there was something THEY could do. They decided they wanted to make
I used it to motivate myself as well. Sitting over in my office, overwhelmed by
the workload and the enormity of a problem for which there is no solution except
day-by-day, one-by-one, I was often discouraged. A trip over to the shelter was
always the antidote to my flagging energy.
The Archbishop of San Antonio often spoke at our fund-raising banquets. He
always began by giving a specific example of a specific person in a specific
encounter. He put a face to a "problem," touched people at the
feelings level, and caused change.
Motivation is not a thinking word.
What Kind of Boss Are You?
The ideal boss inspires their staff to achieve and produce exceptional results for the company every day. Sometimes when we look at the
don'ts, the do's become more obvious.
How To Develop An Attitude for Success
Let me take you back a few years when I first started life
as an Internet Marketer. Upon encountering my first
experience with a site that actually sells products on the
Internet, sparks ignited and cogs turned in my mind as to
how I could replicate the same procedure and start
developing my own products and services on the 'Net.
Expect to Succeed!
What is it that makes one person successful and
another one not successful?
It is the attitude of self-worth. We get what
we want out of life by believing that we deserve
to succeed. Your idea of what success is, could
easily be different than mine.
Some would like notoriety, others wealth, some
health. Some want it all, and amazingly get it!