How To Guard Your Self-Esteem After a Layoff
by Dolores G. Wix
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent." Without a doubt, your self-esteem
takes a hit when you're laid off. The hidden message
seems to be that a company did not value you enough to keep
you. But it can go much deeper than even that. Because of the
fierce competition for the few jobs that are available, it could
cause someone looking for work to gradually lose their
self-respect if they aren't hired right away. Some have even
become so desperate that they have resorted to shoplifting
or armed robbery, which, of course, further damages
"Self-esteem means truly loving and valuing yourself," according
to the book, Self-Esteem: The Power to Be Your Bestby Mark
Towers. So, during this difficult time, it is imperative for you to
appreciate all of your accomplishments up till now. Write down
all of your accomplishments starting from childhood, no matter
how small or trivial you think they are. When you start thinking
negatively or another employer turns you down, take your
accomplishment list out and read it.
It is also important that you listen to how you talk to yourself. If
you make a mistake, do you say to yourself, "You idiot! How could
you be so stupid?" Each time you say derogatory things like that
you chip away at your self-esteem. Instead, when you make a
mistake try saying something like this, "Well, nobody's perfect.
Not even me. Next time I'll do better."
The things you say about yourself are imprinted on your
subconscious mind, that part of you that never sleeps, and controls
your breathing, organ function, etc. The subconscious mind also
brings about whatever commands you give it. It doesn't matter
whether the commands or true, false, positive or negative.
If your self-esteem needs a boost, what can you do? In Mark
Towers' book quoted from earlier, he said that what we think
about ourselves becomes the truth for us. And "one way to
overcome something in yourself you want to change is to affirm
the change." Affirmations are usually short, simple statements
"that proclaim a fact in no uncertain terms."
The more you repeat these affirmations, the deeper they are
impressed upon your subconscious mind which then goes to
work to bring it about. Stay focused on the positive (what you
want) rather than the negative (what you dont want). Even if you
don't believe the affirmation yet, keep saying it! Pretend that it
has already come about and offer thanks for what you hope to
receive in advance.
I can attest to the power of affirmations! I used to be a very
negative, unhappy person. I decided to change that and wrote,
"I am a positive person" on a 3 x 5 index card. You can also
record your affirmations on tape (or have someone else record
them for you) and listen to them in your car, etc. I read the card
every chance I got, and said the affirmation just before going to
sleep at night and when I woke up in the morning. Before long,
I started feeling differently inside, more positive. I'm very happy
to say that the negative, unhappy person I once was is long gone.
I've even had people tell me that I always seem so happy, when
that was the furthest thing from the truth!
I soon added other affirmations including, "I am a published
author." "I'm very organized because I plan my days and follow
my plans." "I take full responsibility for my actions and for my life."
"I deserve to be happy."
Affirmations should be:
|clear and concise|
|in the present tense ("I am" instead of "I will")|
|spoken with emotion or feeling|
One of my favorite affirmations, suggested by Louise Hay, a
best-selling author of 27 books, is, "My income is constantly
increasing." This affirmation also worked in a powerful way for me.
If you have been laid off, think abundance, even if you dont know
where your next meal is coming from. If you think lack or poverty,
that is what you're going to attract to yourself. The marvelous
thing about using affirmations is that you don't have to figure out
how things are going to come about. That's the job of your
subconscious mind. All you have to do is give it the command
(or affirmation) and it will find a way to bring it about.
When I affirmed several years ago, "I am a published author," I
was only aware of the traditional publishers (who seem
impossible to reach) or subsidy publishers, which I didn't want to
do either. All I knew was I wanted to write. The thought of
becoming a publisher using the Internet or the new Print-On-
Demand technology didn't even occur to me. The technology
was not even available then! But my subconscious took care of
everything. Trust yours. It will attract the people and everything
you need to bring about whatever you want to accomplish.
Another way to boost your self-esteem is by using visualization.
You can use visualization by itself or with your affirmations. The
subconscious mind forms our reality from the things we say and
from the pictures we provide it. When I affirmed, "I am a published
author," I pictured myself signing copies of my upcoming novel,
Real Love and receiving huge (and I mean HUGE) royalty
checks. Think of it as your own personal movie of which you are
the writer, director, producer and star. The more detailed you
are, the better.
You can learn more about affirmations by visiting the award
winning website, http://holisticonline.com/
(Look under imagery, guided imagery, and stress management)
How To Build Your Self-Confidence After a Layoff
Self-confidence and self-respect go hand-in-hand. So be willing
to do things that will help you gain and retain respect for yourself.
You must also be willing to respect others.
About 85% of the people working today donít like their jobs, where their career is heading, and canít figure out what to do about it! Maybe it is time to reexamine your life, where it is headed, and, what you can do about it!
Collaborations and Affiliations
Selecting the right colleagues and affiliates is a key success strategy for any career path. Whether you work for an organization or have created your own, the people with whom you partner impact your results as well as your fulfillment and reputation.
This is an excerpt from the book How to Survive and Thrive After
A Layoff by Dolores G. Wix, available at Amazon.com. http://www.fertilegroundpublishing.com/